There are a few things that set Barcelona apart from many of its European metropolitan brethren. Beaches, nightlife and Gaudi architecture.

Over the course of his career, Gaudi veered from a gothic style to his own unique take on things, which incorporated natural forms and shapes. Those ideas, plus Gaudi’s work to incorporate new construction methods are what made his designs trailblazing. The colors and the shapes he pulls together are a far cry from most European buildings created during the 19th and early 20th centuries.

After suffering several personal misfortunes, Gaudi withdrew from public life and worked feverishly on Sagrada Familia, his unfinished masterpiece. In 1926, he died tragically after being hit by a tram and being left on the ground badly injured for an extended period of time. No one would pick him up because he was unrecognizable in pauper clothing.

Here are a few of his key works in Barcelona:

La Sagrada Familia

La Sagrada Familia is considered his masterpiece. It has different looks from each angle. One side is very much in a Gothic tradition and has aspects that look like a cave, on the side are huts appropriate for a hobbit and (below) an angular somewhat futuristic side that looks to me like the holy family is a group of robots. Some of it is very beautiful, some looks horrendous, but it’s undeniably fascinating.

Sadly, it will never be finished according to his vision. While it’s scheduled for completion in 2026 after nearly 140 years (it began construction in 1882), Gaudi’s final plans were destroyed during the Spanish Civil War. Much of what’s been added in recent years is guess work and extrapolation, not his actual design.

Casa Mila

In addition to the flowing arches, there are a couple of other unique features to the building below.

Gaudi designed it specifically to encourage the residents to socialize. It’s a roughly circular building with a large atrium in the middle, so all of the interior balconies look in on the other balconies. That atrium also provides a large gathering space on the ground floor. And in a flourish a bit more extreme, he provided lift access on every other level, forcing half of the residents to walk up or down a floor and meet residents from other floors.

Park Guell

One of my favorite spots in Barcelona. It’s a huge park up on the hillside, providing views of the entire city, especially if you make the trek all the way up to the Three Crosses, a natural peak that’s been enhanced with a monument and viewing deck.

Gaudi was tasked with designing the park, which extends well beyond the most known components such as the dragon and the serpentine mosaic benches. There are acres of footpaths (natural and man-made with a Gaudi touch). If you’re lucky (as I was), you might also stumble on a flock of wild parakeets that has steadily grown since they escaped captivity and started breeding in the 1970s.

Casa Battlo

This apartment building, originally built as middle class apartments, incorporates some of the best aspects of Casa Mila and Park Guell. Cracked tile mosaic patterns are spread throughout. Curves, stained glass, arches and irregular ovals fill the entire interior of the space.

Known as the Casa del Ossos (House of Bones), it definitely has a creepy skeletal feel to it, despite the bright colors weaved into every room and surface.

Welcome to part 2 of our celebration of the most overtly extravagant tributes to the male appendage. The post was just too big, so I couldn’t fit it all in at one time.

If you’d like to catch up on Part 1, you can check it out here.

As a reminder, the list is limited to buildings I’ve seen in person. If you have others you’d like to share, I’d love to hear about them in the comments below!

#5: The Leaning Tower of Pisa

You have to admire the infamous Italian tenacity. They just don’t take no for an answer. After finishing the first three floors, La Torre di Pisa started sinking. You’d think that would be the end of it, wouldn’t you? Well, they did indeed halt construction, but about a hundred years later, they got a little tired of looking at an unfinished building. So like a Jersey Shore club-goer, they went in for another try.

In an act of completely absurd logic, they compensated for the leaning by making one side slightly shorter than the other on each floor. Yes, they pulled the architectural equivalent of stuffing a napkin under a short table leg.

As a result, it not only leans, it’s also curved. I think we can attribute its success as a tourist destination to the fact that the curve makes it a bit more stimulating.

#4: Napoleonic Column at Place Vendome, Paris

Most people would jump right on the Eiffel Tower when it comes to Parisian symbols, but this wins out in my mind. In addition to a little statue of Napoleon at the tip, it’s ribbed (for added pleasure) and it rises from within a large round plaza.

It’s also apropos that Place Vendome is home to many hotels where wealthy Frenchmen sully their mistresses each day after lunch.

This monument was actually erected twice. Napoleon originally had it built, but it was taken down prematurely in 1871, when some members of the French government decided they need to break apart from the previous imperialism. In 1874, after some uncomfortable conversations about trying the column out somewhere new (Hotel des Invalides), they ultimately were able to work things out and get it up again.

#3: Stratosphere Hotel, Las Vegas

Sin City is prone to excess in all things, but until the Stratosphere tower came along, the Las Vegas skyline suffered from a serious lack of height. It certainly had a lot of bells and whistles on every street corner, but it was generally a level playing field throughout the city.

The hotel has been immensely unpopular since it opened in 1996, partly because of its location. It’s situated right in between the Strip and downtown in a bit of a no-man’s land, unless you’re getting married to Britney Spears across the street at the Chapel O’ Love. They also may have had a bit more success if rooms had been in the tower and not in the Vegas version of tract housing.

Now, the Stratosphere is like that crazy drunk friend who people don’t like all that much, but can be entertaining once in a while.

For sheer balls, the tower features an amazing view from its bar and more importantly, three of the world’s highest thrill rides. My favorite is “Insanity” which dangles you 270 meters over the city and then swings you in circles.

#2: Coit Tower, San Francisco

How can I argue with Alfred Hitchcock? The man admitted he used Coit Tower as a phallic symbol in backgrounds throughout the film Vertigo, so it’s got to have a place on the list.

Located in one of the best panoramic photo spots in San Francisco on Telegraph Hill, the tower is an homage to Lillian Coit’s obsession with firefighters. It’s hard to say what the most entertaining aspect of the monument is. The swaggering statue of Columbus in front of it, saying “my discovery is bigger than yours” or the name “Coit.”

And the title of Best Phallic Building in the World goes to…

#1: Torre Agbar, Barcelona

In a bit of Spanish bravado, the Torre Agbar thrusts from the surface of the city like a dildo on a pommel horse. Everything about this building screams “God’s sex toy.” From its location at the “Glories” metro stop to the multi-colored lights, you expect it to start vibrating at any second.

Affectionately known by locals as “The Suppository,” the architect has said that the structure’s design was actually inspired by a geyser.

Barcelona is home to some of the most whimsical architecture of any city in the world, but it wasn’t until the Torre Agbar was completed in 2005 that they had such a uniquely identifiable visual icon. As a result, they now have a showcase location for multi-national broadcast celebrations like New Year’s Eve.

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There you have it, the top 5. Have any others that I should make a point to visit? Or just buildings you find entertaining? Let me know!

The historic center of Valencia was certainly my favorite part, but I have to showcase some of the amazing architecture that’s a bit newer. As you travel further along the Jardines de Turia, the tone moves from sports and gardens to art & culture, which are housed in buildings that are stunning in their own right. Art, science, music, oceanography and history all have homes in the complex.

An overview of the City of Arts & Sciences (aka Ciudad de las Artes y de las Ciencias).

The finest in Cylon architecture –

The Hemispheric.

A side view of El Palau de les Arts Reina Sofía

L’Oceanogràfic in the back (largest aquarium/Oceanography park in Europe) and El Puente de l’Assut de l’Or – a bridge with only a single pillar, using enormous cables for support.

El Museu de les Ciències Príncipe Felipe – built to resemble the skeleton of a whale.

Valencia was one of my favorite cities in Europe. It was beautiful from one end to the other. The only frustration for me was the propensity for them to plant TREES everywhere, making unobstructed photos quite a challenge. Damn you, Valencia, and your dedication to greenery!

The city has some marvelous features, including buildings ranging from ancient towers like the Torres Serrano and Torres Quart, beautiful plazas, churches, government offices and even some amazing banks.

A few of my favorites:

Mercado Cento – the main market in town for purchasing fresh (really fresh) meats and vegetables. Some of the beauty of this part of Spain comes from the use of tile and ceramics in the exterior of buildings. The market is one of the best examples of this.

Inside the market. I thought about buying a rabbit on a spit, but they wouldn’t let me start an open flame in our hotel.

Placa de adjutament – one of the main plazas in the city and the home to many of the government offices for Valencia.

The most impressive piece I saw was this carved alabaster entryway at Palau del Marqués de Dosaigües, which houses the ceramic museum.

One of the best features of Valencia is the Jardines de Turia park. The Turia river was prone to floods, so in 1957 they decided to divert the river outside of town. With the space that was left, they created a wonderful park with several kilometers of gardens, sports facilities, jogging and cycling paths, playgrounds, fountains and ponds.

Nighttime shot of the Placa de Adjutament.

• People who cover themselves in body paint then stand motionless for photos in public squares make me nostalgic for the interactivity of mimes.
• The restroom in the Irun train station has a condom machine. I can’t even begin to understand why that’s necessary. Is train sex THAT frequent? Shit, why don’t I speak better Spanish? Donde esta la tren con mucho sex?

• With all the busking that goes on in Paris, I was shocked that no one had packed a jacket onto his shoulder to play the “hunchback” at Notre Dame. So I did. There’s a fortune to be made.

• People who talk on the phone in the restroom disturb me and it’s accentuated when it’s into a bluetoooth earpiece and in a foreign language because you have no idea what they might be saying or if they’re actually talking to a person and not their genitalia.
• I can appreciate the cultural tradition of kisses on the cheek as a friendly gesture in France, but it looks weird when police officers with machine guns greet each other like that.
• There’s a woman who just passed me wearing orange tights, a short blue skirt and an orange tee. She’s one mask away from being a superhero.
• Reason #437 I love Europe: I walked into a small store to buy something to drink. When I stepped through the door, the shop owner literally ran from the back room with a piece of watermelon, put it in my hand, saying “have this! Please, it’s so sweet and delicious!”
• Just saw a guy dump his fries on his burger like an additional topping. #realmenofgenius
• Isn’t a metal detector at a night club in Madrid pointless? It’s not physically possible for anyone in those outfits to have a weapon concealed somewhere.

This is part 2 of a four part series, in which I chastise myself for past experiences and give advice on fixing myself for future travels. Yes, I can give myself advice without being crazy. If you’d like to catch up, you can read Part 1: Eat Stuff.

Lesson #2 for cultural idiots: Don’t just take photos, take inspiration.

I’m setting up a contest on the site called “Identify This Photo.” Because I need serious help with about 7,000 photos that are a total mystery to me. Seriously, I don’t even think I took most of them. My working theory is that they just came with the camera like that generic family in a new picture frame. You may not know them, but damn, they sure look pretty.

Do you know where this is? Me neither.

The stories behind the sights are always fascinating when they’re narrated by Sam Brown or Rick Steves, but when I’m actually traveling I never stop to investigate what things are. When you’re new to travel, the singular focus is to “check off the box” rather than actually experiencing why you’re there.

But, here’s the thing. The world has more to offer than just a lot of pretty pictures. I can appreciate looking at Gaudi architecture, but it’s far more interesting to also know the history of what he designed and why. What were his inspirations and influences? Is it true that La Sagrada Familia isn’t going to be finished until 2026? Can’t they import cheap labor and shitty working conditions from all those out of work people in Dubai? But I digress.

Whether it’s a piece of art, a local square, a festival, a statue or just a scenic vista while riding through the countryside, I snapped off shots first and figured I’d ask questions later. Unfortunately, I never ended up asking questions more meaningful than “Can I get another beer?”

Some building in Barcelona

Five steps to take for future trips:

1. Keep notes! My ego is so gigantic, I believe I’ll remember everything at the end of a trip. The irony is that I always seem to forget that I never remember stuff. Whether it’s paper and pencil or geotagged photos, keep track of what you’re seeing so you can remember it and share it.
2. Do some research. I know, studying seems like the most boring thing possible when you’re on the road. You want excitement, not READING. But the strength of the memories afterward yield some serious payback. Read the historical notes on monuments, look places up online, read local newspapers to find out exactly what those French people were protesting (believe me, you’ll see people protesting something if you visit France).
3. Talk to the people, ask them about their town, about what they do, appeal to their sense of local and personal pride to strike up conversation. It may be tough to understand that Italian man’s tale of his glory days on the town’s middle school football team, but it beats watching a Michael Bay movie in your room.
4. Join organized tours – this doesn’t mean you have to pay to hop on a bus with a bunch of Midwesterners wearing black socks and sandals. One of the most interesting parts of my bike trip through the Pyrennees was joining a free tour of a family owned cheesery. (is cheesery a word?) I didn’t pay enough attention at the time, but it was one of the most unique opportunities to learn about the people and the culture of the region.
5. Slow down – instead of running from room to room to see 4,000 works of art in the Louvre, stop at 20 pieces you really like and then learn everything you can about them. Contrary to popular belief, there is no prize at the end of the Louvre scavenger hunt.

Travel is thrilling and exciting, but after it’s over it should still be inspirational and enlightening. Quiz your family on which they would rather see: 20 slides and the stories behind them (with a sample of a regional recipe) or 1000 photos you took from your seat on the tour bus. There’s a reason travel shows don’t just put up random pictures for 30 minutes.

Imagine my surprise when I found that Pamplona was not filled with City Slicker style midlife crisis types and crazy people. It was MTV’s Spring Break in Spanish. Immediately upon our 6am train arrival we saw drunk 20-somethings in parks throughout town, passed out and scattered with the trash.

The running of the bulls was fascinating, though somewhat less than the Hollywood version of it. Only 6 wild bulls make the run, along with a few more trained to guide them on their way. After seeing it, I regretted not having the cojones to have done  it myself.

In the arena after the running

Once the run is complete the stands fill with people tempting fate further

The lineup- 3000 people vs. 6 bulls.

The guide bulls leading the way.

Beer + wet roads + crowds + running = ouch.