Rather than post photos of things other people have shared a million times, here are a few things I found interesting in Amsterdam:

Sorry, I didn’t get any good photos of the guy who apparently died during his visit to the red light district (yes, DURING). But it was definitely interesting to watch the hullaballoo.

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Bikes were parked everywhere. The most in any one place was near the train station. This is about 1/3rd of a multi-level parking structure and bike parking area. Regardless of all the bikes, I was actually not comfortable riding around town. The way cars, bikes and trains cross paths, it’s like those old silent movies where the getaway car crosses the tracks milliseconds before the train rams it.

Bike parking by the train station.

Yes, yes. You’re comfortable with your sexuality. We get it. You don’t have to keep beating it to death. So to speak.

Nationaal Monument at Dam

I would estimate that 30% of bikes in Amsterdam are discarded and forgotten.

Bike or unique planter?

I thought it was cool that houseboats were apparently permanently moored by the canals.

Houseboats

Is there even room for a Dalmation in this car? I hope the hook n ladder truck is a bit larger.

Fire department vehicle

In case you were curious how furniture gets to the 5th floor with those tiny little staircases.

A "ladder-vator"

And finally… I’m more terrified by what this sign might mean than anything else I’ve seen in Europe.

DNA spray - WTF??

Not every random thought deserves to have its own blog post. Here are some of the things that popped into my head while I was in Amsterdam.

• Do you think somewhere in the Netherlands there’s a community of Dutch Pennsylvanians? All wearing Steelers jerseys and eating cheese steak?
• They don’t seem to realize it, but the marketing folks for Cool Ranch Doritos are missing a natural opportunity to sponsor the entire city of Amsterdam.
• Amsterdam trivia: a licensed prostitute has to pay 19% sales tax and 30-35% income tax on the fee she gets from a client. There’s a joke in there about getting screwed 3 times for the same money, but I can’t quite get to it.
• Trying to figure out signs in Dutch is like sorting through furniture names at Ikea.
• In trying to speak an approximation of Dutch, I think I just asked someone for directions to the “Al Franken House.”
• You’d think that with the gigantic queue in front of the Anne Frank house, the Germans would have known something was up.
• I’m torn between two worlds. For the hell of it, I joined a pub crawl in Amsterdam with a bunch of twenty-somethings but I also think I’m starting to develop that crusty white gunk old people get on the sides of their mouths.
• On the pub crawl I feel a little like “Ken, Lonnie, I’d like you to meet … Mohammed, Jugdish, Sidney and Clayton. Grab a seat and make yourself at home, okay?”
• There’s an Amsterdam Club called “More Than a Woman.” I don’t want to think too hard about what that means, but I’m guessing it’s not a Bee Gees theme bar.
• My hotel bath tub in Amsterdam is some bizarre funnel shape so the only way to shower without falling over is to pose like Captain Morgan. One foot by the drain and one on the ledge above.
• The Diamond Museum should give out free samples like they did on the Heineken tour.
• I’d really like to have someone’s ear to complain about the long lines at the Van Gogh museum.
• I haven’t eaten much in Amsterdam since I realized everything is cooked in Dutch ovens.

Disclaimer: Do not try this. If you choose to try this, you are on your own and you’re probably not too bright. I do not condone this behavior. Any time you mix fire and alcohol, you’re asking for trouble.

That said, it was pretty cool.

On a night out in Amsterdam, I met a couple guys who worked for the US military. Unlike 95% of the crowd at the clubs, these guys were close to my age. They’re stationed in the Netherlands working for Nato, with their families still back in the States.

While we talked, I learned about a very cool drinking trick called the Statue of Liberty. It was completely new to me, although I may have to show it off at parties eventually.

• Order a shot of Sambuca, in a glass large enough to dip your fingers into the liquid.
• Dip your first two fingers into the Sambuca, coating them. Sambuca is a bit syrupy, so it’ll stick to them fairly well. Keep your fingers pointed down so that the liquid doesn’t run down your hand and arm.
• Using a candle or other available flame, ignite the Sambuca on your fingers. The flame will burn the alcohol, but not your fingers (as long as you don’t take too long).
• Hold your fingers in the air like the Statue of Liberty while you down the shot with your other hand.
• Put your fingers out by shaking them before permanent damage occurs.
• Collect accolades and admiration.

Do I have to tell you once again NOT to do this?