Welcome to part 2 of our celebration of the most overtly extravagant tributes to the male appendage. The post was just too big, so I couldn’t fit it all in at one time.

If you’d like to catch up on Part 1, you can check it out here.

As a reminder, the list is limited to buildings I’ve seen in person. If you have others you’d like to share, I’d love to hear about them in the comments below!

#5: The Leaning Tower of Pisa

You have to admire the infamous Italian tenacity. They just don’t take no for an answer. After finishing the first three floors, La Torre di Pisa started sinking. You’d think that would be the end of it, wouldn’t you? Well, they did indeed halt construction, but about a hundred years later, they got a little tired of looking at an unfinished building. So like a Jersey Shore club-goer, they went in for another try.

In an act of completely absurd logic, they compensated for the leaning by making one side slightly shorter than the other on each floor. Yes, they pulled the architectural equivalent of stuffing a napkin under a short table leg.

As a result, it not only leans, it’s also curved. I think we can attribute its success as a tourist destination to the fact that the curve makes it a bit more stimulating.

#4: Napoleonic Column at Place Vendome, Paris

Most people would jump right on the Eiffel Tower when it comes to Parisian symbols, but this wins out in my mind. In addition to a little statue of Napoleon at the tip, it’s ribbed (for added pleasure) and it rises from within a large round plaza.

It’s also apropos that Place Vendome is home to many hotels where wealthy Frenchmen sully their mistresses each day after lunch.

This monument was actually erected twice. Napoleon originally had it built, but it was taken down prematurely in 1871, when some members of the French government decided they need to break apart from the previous imperialism. In 1874, after some uncomfortable conversations about trying the column out somewhere new (Hotel des Invalides), they ultimately were able to work things out and get it up again.

#3: Stratosphere Hotel, Las Vegas

Sin City is prone to excess in all things, but until the Stratosphere tower came along, the Las Vegas skyline suffered from a serious lack of height. It certainly had a lot of bells and whistles on every street corner, but it was generally a level playing field throughout the city.

The hotel has been immensely unpopular since it opened in 1996, partly because of its location. It’s situated right in between the Strip and downtown in a bit of a no-man’s land, unless you’re getting married to Britney Spears across the street at the Chapel O’ Love. They also may have had a bit more success if rooms had been in the tower and not in the Vegas version of tract housing.

Now, the Stratosphere is like that crazy drunk friend who people don’t like all that much, but can be entertaining once in a while.

For sheer balls, the tower features an amazing view from its bar and more importantly, three of the world’s highest thrill rides. My favorite is “Insanity” which dangles you 270 meters over the city and then swings you in circles.

#2: Coit Tower, San Francisco

How can I argue with Alfred Hitchcock? The man admitted he used Coit Tower as a phallic symbol in backgrounds throughout the film Vertigo, so it’s got to have a place on the list.

Located in one of the best panoramic photo spots in San Francisco on Telegraph Hill, the tower is an homage to Lillian Coit’s obsession with firefighters. It’s hard to say what the most entertaining aspect of the monument is. The swaggering statue of Columbus in front of it, saying “my discovery is bigger than yours” or the name “Coit.”

And the title of Best Phallic Building in the World goes to…

#1: Torre Agbar, Barcelona

In a bit of Spanish bravado, the Torre Agbar thrusts from the surface of the city like a dildo on a pommel horse. Everything about this building screams “God’s sex toy.” From its location at the “Glories” metro stop to the multi-colored lights, you expect it to start vibrating at any second.

Affectionately known by locals as “The Suppository,” the architect has said that the structure’s design was actually inspired by a geyser.

Barcelona is home to some of the most whimsical architecture of any city in the world, but it wasn’t until the Torre Agbar was completed in 2005 that they had such a uniquely identifiable visual icon. As a result, they now have a showcase location for multi-national broadcast celebrations like New Year’s Eve.

_______________

There you have it, the top 5. Have any others that I should make a point to visit? Or just buildings you find entertaining? Let me know!