I am the anti-Bourdain. When I watch him, I see someone who turned Fear Factor into a full time career.

Where's the expiration date printed?

I confess. Foreign food terrifies me. So much of it is slimy and chewy and squishy.

Seriously, have you SEEN a 100 year old egg? It’s an unnatural translucent green that you suspect incubates something that would stalk Sigourney Weaver. If I had eaten it, there would have been a translucent green coating on everything within 30 feet.

The most lavish feast I’ve ever seen was when I attended a traditional Chinese wedding (it was in Chinatown in Los Angeles, but that’s besides the point). All the main courses came out with heads still attached, so I had to survive entirely on fried rice and a slice of the marital cake.

Don’t get me wrong – I’m not some ugly American who looks down on other cultures. I LOVE other cultures. I love watching the people, how they work, how they live, how they eat. But I love them from a distance. Fear has prevented me from really diving into them.

Photo - Thomas Scoch, wikimedia creative commons license

A primary goal for my round the world trip is to fix that by fully immersing myself and adopting the lifestyle in my temporary homes. The most challenging part of that goal is going to be indulging in the food. I’ve tried nibbles of things when I’ve traveled, but I’ve never really opened myself to them. Whether it’s quail eggs or kimchi, I’ve managed to dance around it.

There’s no trick to fixing this. I just have to force myself to do it. These are things that have been eaten by millions (or billions) of people, so there’s nothing in there that’s going to kill me. And for god’s sake, I’ve had the food at Arby’s, which should be infinitely more frightening than sampling fried crickets.

In the words of Eleanor Roosevelt – “eat one thing each day that makes you want to yak.”