Posts Tagged ‘Brain Drops’

Brain Drops Rising

March 4th, 2012

Ah yes, it’s the return of Brain Drops for another installment after a long absence. No particular topic or destination here, just a lot of randomness with a bit of Thailand sprinkled in.

My standard disclaimer: While I’m traveling, lots of random thoughts pop into my head. Each week (or month, or year) I like to share a few of them. Please don’t judge me, I know I’m a bit crazy.

 

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Reason #434 I love Asia: no time of the year is the wrong time of the year to play Christmas music.

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Walking through the night market in Chiang Mai, I feel some sympathy for the sellers of handmade bookmarks. They’ll soon be collateral damage in the growth of eBooks.

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Watching all of the people in Thailand and their custom of a wai (below), it reminds me of when I was young. I used to think that any time I clasped my hands together I was automatically praying, as though I was triggering a holy walkie-talkie to God. I’d absent-mindedly put my hands together and then get scared that I was bothering Jesus when I was just thinking about Batman or something.

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Does anyone ever buy a piggybank for a child in Vietnam? It’s just not the same when you don’t have coins plinking around inside.

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Some countries require 2 passport sized photos for visas and some require only one, so I have lots of strays. I’m now carrying around 5 different photos with various hairstyles and outfits. I feel like Jason Bourne.

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Reason # 437 I love Asia: You can believably say you have the body of a god when there are Buddhists everywhere. It’s so much easier than comparing to the Greek gods or even skinny Jesus.

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This week in dubious marketing claims:

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Camera phones should have time locks that prevent them from taking photos after 10pm.

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It shouldn’t count as forgetting a birthday if you remember the person’s birthday but just have no idea what day it is today.

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I find it difficult to look directly in the face of people who do things that don’t make sense to me. It makes my head hurt. It’s like trying to stare at the carpet in a Vegas casino that’s been purposely made with asymmetrical patterns to force you to look up at the slot machines.

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Freedonia Post: New Weekly Features

February 27th, 2012

Since I’m kicking off the blog again, I thought I’d spice things up a little bit. That means adding a couple of new features on a weekly basis.

Starting tomorrow, you be able to enjoy a weekly trivia quiz about a destination somewhere in the world. I’ll be making it a bit more in-depth than just some random questions by including photos and interesting facts about places in the world you may want to visit.

Then, beginning Friday I’ll be posting a weekly travel news summary. This won’t be some dreary summary of news headlines, though. I’ll be focusing on things in the news that are humorous or silly or just plain wrong.

Finally, on Sunday you’ll see the return of Brain Drops. I sorted through old bits I’ve scrawled on napkins since the last Brain Drops in March and pulled out enough for a few weeks. Sadly, some are hopelessly out of date, like a reference to Black Swan’s lesbian scene. So those stay in the scrap heap.IMGP4681

Of course, I’ll also start up actual blog columns again. Because I’m not currently traveling, those columns will be about past travels or opinion pieces on travel issues.

 

The rough schedule will look like:

Sunday: Brain Drops

Tuesday: Travel Trivia

Wednesday: Feature post

Friday: Travel News Wrap-up

 

I also wanted to give a shout out to a site run by a couple of friends of mine, Dave Dean and Dustin Main: TooManyAdapters.com. It explores the latest in news and information about traveling with technology. I’ll be an occasional contributor to that site, which I kicked off with a review of the Kindle Fire from a traveler’s perspective. Check it out here: http://toomanyadapters.com/kindle-fire-review/ 

As always, thanks for visiting and I hope you enjoy the new features.

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Brain Drops IX: The Revenge

September 5th, 2010

I’m going to get past the EasyJet baggage fees by wearing all of my clothes the way Joey did with Chandler’s on Friends.

Here’s an angel who’s not only ripped, but is shedding his tunic like he’s about to go down and kick evil’s ass. I named him Jean Claude Van Damnation.

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Sure, art thieves can make off with a Van Gogh painting from an Egyptian museum, but let’s see them nick one of Gaudi’s works.

Torre Agbar, the world’s biggest phallic symbol, is located at the Glories Metro stop. I swear I am not making that up.

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There are a lot of people hanging around at the Parc du Clot. I’m assuming that’s the place you go when you want to hire scabs. Think about it… you’ll get it sooner or later.

How was I to know I couldn’t pee in the sitting room at Casa Batllo? It’s not my fault Gaudi puts bathroom tile everywhere.

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Brain Drops VI : French Class Edition

August 15th, 2010

There are a lot of random thoughts that pass through my brain while I’m traveling. Each week, I’m sharing a few of them. Please don’t judge me.

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This week a little focus on the language of the land.

  • My minimal skills with the French language makes it nearly impossible to retort with “that’s what she said” to what people are saying. But no matter how hard it might be, I’m doing it anyway. TWSS.
  • I keep hoping I’ll find a street called Rue Maurice LaMarche and there’ll be a giant statue of Pinky and the Brain at the intersection.pinky_and_brain
  • If the word gratuit means free in French, why do gratuities always cost me money?
  • I figured a city named Bordeaux would be like the French equivalent of Willy Wonka’s factory, except with rivers of wine and bubbling cheese fountains.
  • In France, a cul de sac is called an “impasse.” Shouldn’t the French term for cul-de sac be cul-de sac?
  • I’m at a Mexican salsa club in Bordeaux and am totally confused as to how to communicate. Should I not be able to speak French or not be able to speak Spanish?
  • I like that used cars in France are called “ocassion.” It makes it feel like you’re celebrating something, even if it’s just buying someone’s second hand piece of shit Peugot.
  • It’s interesting that the international song for an ice cream truck is a plinky version of “Farmer in the Dell.” Wouldn’t they make about 10 times as much money if they played Justin Bieber or something?
  • It’s far easier to understand the French than the group of Irish people I’m watching football with. It’s like trying to decipher Brad Pitt’s character in Snatch.
  • In France, churros are called chi-chis. It makes them seem even more delicious, but now I want them served wrapped in a halter top.

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Brain Drops 3: Amsterdam Edition

July 25th, 2010
Captain Morgan
Image via Wikipedia

Not every random thought deserves to have its own blog post. Here are some of the things that popped into my head while I was in Amsterdam.

  • Do you think somewhere in the Netherlands there’s a community of Dutch Pennsylvanians? All wearing Steelers jerseys and eating cheese steak?
  • They don’t seem to realize it, but the marketing folks for Cool Ranch Doritos are missing a natural opportunity to sponsor the entire city of Amsterdam.
  • Amsterdam trivia: a licensed prostitute has to pay 19% sales tax and 30-35% income tax on the fee she gets from a client. There’s a joke in there about getting screwed 3 times for the same money, but I can’t quite get to it.
  • Trying to figure out signs in Dutch is like sorting through furniture names at Ikea.
  • In trying to speak an approximation of Dutch, I think I just asked someone for directions to the “Al Franken House.”
  • You’d think that with the gigantic queue in front of the Anne Frank house, the Germans would have known something was up.
  • I’m torn between two worlds. For the hell of it, I joined a pub crawl in Amsterdam with a bunch of twenty-somethings but I also think I’m starting to develop that crusty white gunk old people get on the sides of their mouths.
  • On the pub crawl I feel a little like “Ken, Lonnie, I’d like you to meet … Mohammed, Jugdish, Sidney and Clayton. Grab a seat and make yourself at home, okay?”
  • There’s an Amsterdam Club called “More Than a Woman.” I don’t want to think too hard about what that means, but I’m guessing it’s not a Bee Gees theme bar.
  • My hotel bath tub in Amsterdam is some bizarre funnel shape so the only way to shower without falling over is to pose like Captain Morgan. One foot by the drain and one on the ledge above.
  • The Diamond Museum should give out free samples like they did on the Heineken tour.
  • I’d really like to have someone’s ear to complain about the long lines at the Van Gogh museum.
  • I haven’t eaten much in Amsterdam since I realized everything is cooked in Dutch ovens.
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Brain Drops: July 10, 2010

July 12th, 2010

When I’m on my bike for hours at a time, weird stuff happens in my head. I’ll be writing those brain drops down and sharing them weekly, so you can watch my descent into madness first hand!

  • My favorite town name in England: Bletchly. Any town that sounds like you’re praising the porcelain is awesome in my eyes.
  • Learned a new British phrase for drinking too much: “getting trolleyed” – i.e. drinking so much they have to push you home in a shopping cart.
  • Here’s how polite the British are: the pub toilets have vending machines selling condoms, which isn’t unusual. But in Britain, they sell Tic-Tacs with the condoms, so you don’t have to subject your partner to that awkward “next morning” breath.
  • I corrected a typo in the AT&T warning about international data roaming: “Turning on international roaming could lead to ridiculous charges.” $20 per Mb? WTF?
  • A closed sign in front of this cafe would evidently be redundant.
  • In the U.S.: Bike vs. car = bike loses; in Europe: Loaded touring bike vs. city car = even odds. Yes, that’s right. There’s a Smart Car Roadster.
  • The green neon crosses in front of French pharmacies makes it feel like the entire city is full of medical marijuana dispensaries.

That’s it for this week. Glitches between Evernote and a shitty internet connection lost a whole bunch of other thoughts, so you’ll have to be patient for more.

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