I now have a full appreciation for the phrase “wearing a hole in the carpeting.”

While I’m not quite sure how a prospective father feels, I can identify with being on the verge of bringing a new life into the world. It just happens to be my own.

First off, an apology. In case anyone has noticed, it’s been over a week since my last blog post. That’s not for lack of things I could have written about. I had my last day at work, several going away parties and a week of fun as a friend joined me for a sightseeing tour of LA (to all the places I neglected to see while I lived here). Pics and stories from that trip are coming.

I can identify with being on the verge of bringing a new life into the world.

I’ve also been almost totally absent from Twitter and have barely had a moment to read the work of the fellow travel bloggers who have been a virtual support system for the past several months.

The real issue this past week is one that I wasn’t expecting – a lack of focus. My brain has been in overdrive as I push through all the things I need to get done before I snip off the final cords that tie me to my current home. And the odd thing is that I have pretty much everything done, but I can’t stop from obsessing over the few things left to complete. I walk from room to room and back again, staring at stuff that I already have a plan to deal with – but until it’s done, I can’t stop thinking about it.

Evidently, government funding for road construction came through, because there’s an emotional highway that’s been built right down the middle of my pre-frontal cortex. Moment by moment, I’m assaulted by fear, anxiety and self-doubt all trying to drive down the same exit ramp. As quickly as they spring out, I beat them down, but the relentless onslaught is a bit daunting.

I’m assaulted by fear, anxiety and self-doubt all trying to drive down the same exit ramp.

I thought that having my days free would allow my mind to clear. I had visions of sitting down and knocking out the great American novel before the flight attendant even offered me a glass of orange juice. It may take a bit longer to get to that.

Right now, I’m stuck in a state of “life limbo” as I transition from the rigors of my corporate career to a much looser path that I haven’t even come close to defining. Which is why I’m obsessing over those tangible bits of minutiae that are staring at me.

Okay, enough whining. The adventure is only 4 days away and I can’t wait to get started. I’m not sure exactly how long it will take to adjust to a completely new lifestyle, but I can feel the excitement bubbling just underneath the anxiety, aching to break free. At the current rate of molecular decay, I’d say it will burst through by Tuesday.

One last note for this week – whether here in Los Angeles or across the globe, I couldn’t ask for better friends and it’s been wonderful to spend more time with them the past few weeks in preparation for my departure. I may not be the most emotionally expressive person on the planet, but you all mean a lot to me and I love you dearly.

So a special thanks and au revoir to all of the people who have been part of my life so far, and hello to the rest of you I haven’t yet met. I’m on my way to see you now.

Just as long as the goddamned people claiming they’ll buy my furniture show up tomorrow.

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