This is part 3 of a four part series, in which I chastise myself for past experiences and give advice on fixing myself for future travels. Yes, I can give myself advice without being crazy. If you’d like to catch up, you can read:
Cultural Idiot Lesson #3: Participate
I’m a habitual watcher.
My nerd cred goes back up with this.
I love people watching, dog watching, whale watching, girl watching. I’ve never tried bird watching because it seems like if you wanted to do that, you could just grab some day old bread, sit in a park and let the birds come to you. When you add in binoculars and ornithology books, it knocks even ME down a few rungs on the nerd ladder.
As a somewhat shy solo traveler it’s easy to spend too much time on the sidelines, worried that people might judge me or rebuff me in some way. The fear of rejection when you’re on your own can be pretty daunting. To make things worse, I’m also a card-carrying non-conformist. Okay, that’s a lie. I don’t actually carry a card because that would be the opposite of being a non-conformist. The point is, I generally avoid anything that’s been done by millions of people before me, whether it’s watching Avatar or using dental floss.
The greatest memories of my life are from times when I DID push out of my comfort zone. I danced in the Samba parade in Rio during Carnaval, I dressed in a gladiator costume for a Halloween fantasy ball in Las Vegas with 15,000 of my closest friends, I rode a stage of the Tour de France through the Pyrenees, I even went to Wicked on Broadway. Contrary to how that list may sound, I am straight.
Sadly, I’ve also let a lot of opportunities knock while I hid in the shower. No it wasn’t an unusually long shower. Quit judging me.
- Pamplona: running with the bulls – skipped it. The only people who get hurt are the ones who get hurt from beer, either from drinking too much of it or slipping in puddles of it. It was nothing to be afraid of.
- Mexico: eating the worm with my mezcal – skipped it. Hell, I got sick from Diet Coke and tainted ice. A worm was the least of my gastro-intestinal challenges during a 3 hour crawl across the border.
- Rome: mass at St. Peter’s – skipped it. I’m gonna go ahead and blame repressed memories of my time as an altar boy. (By the way, did you know the Vatican website has a link to “Vatican Secret Archives?” Is that really the Vatican site or did I get caught up in a game of “World of Popecraft?”)
- Lourdes: having my injuries healed – skipped it. The problem with going to a place where everyone is looking to be healed is that it’s chock full o’ sick people.
- Rio: hang gliding – skipped it. nomadicchick did it and I will eternally regret the fact that, day in and day out, I just wandered the same gorgeous, Brazilian beaches looking at gorgeous Brazilian women. hmmm… Well, the point is still valid.
Beyond the big events and experiences there is a bonanza of opportunity to learn more about the world by doing everyday things with people.
- Worship – I’m not a fan of religion, but if you want to understand people, faith is usually a cornerstone of their lives. Attend mass or a ceremony – you don’t have to agree with a particular denomination to show interest in a country’s residents and their beliefs. While you’re there, you can at least praise the fact that you’re traveling and not in an office.
- Local events – towns have festivals that aren’t in any guide book. Read local papers to find celebrations of Spring, the harvest, school fundraisers and more. If you’re in Thailand or France, your odds are about 50/50 that you’re going to find a protest march while you’re there, even if it’s just an attempt to change the name of “french dressing” to “patriot dressing.” These kinds of events are fascinating to attend, especially if you get local bands and politicians there to support it. Jump in and help out, if you can.
- Social gatherings – I’m not suggesting you re-enact Wedding Crashers 2: Euro Boogaloo, but as you get to know locals, take advantage of it. Try to join some local occasions with new friends – birthday parties, family reunions or even a funeral for the crazy cat lady. If you get an invitation, say YES.
- Sports – seeing a futbol match at Maracana is an unforgettable experience, but there are low and no-cost sporting events of all kinds at local high schools and colleges. If there are regional sports, go check them out. You haven’t lived until you’ve tried curling – it’s not ONLY for the Olympics.
How can San Onofre ban nudity when it has a boob monument?
- Adventures – it doesn’t have to be paragliding, ziplining or bungee jumping. I’m not anxious to jump out of a plane at any point, but I do plan to do things that most people will think are crazy. Admittedly, riding a bike around Europe kind of qualifies for that in the first place.
There are limits, of course. You wouldn’t want to do anything that’s TRULY putting you in harm’s way, breaks laws or that you find morally offensive. If the group you’re sharing beer with starts to cut up old bed sheets, make a wooden cross and re-fill their Zippos, it’s time to call it a night.
Shambling hordes of sickies can put a real damper on your travel plans
Good tips, and solid introspection. Sounds like you won’t let the same things happen again.
.-= Keith´s last blog ..Diving into Local Culture the Couchsurfing Way =-.
I HAVE to do things differently. I need new material while I’m traveling and what’s better than embarrassing myself?
Thankfully, I can honestly say I’ve never let fear get in the way of any of my decisions in life, because I agree with you…the times I stepped out of my comfort zone have been the most memorable times of my life! I do wish that I had had the time to go hang-gliding when I was in Rio. I saw people doing it and it looked wicked fun. Next time though for sure! Thanks for inspiring people to try things that they might be afraid of.
.-= Andi´s last blog ..Brasil: Day 8 (Part 3) =-.
Part of the reason for planning a round the world trip was the realization that those “crazy” things I tried were some of the most amazing memories of my life.
Your writing is so funny. As we speak I am writing a post about how I participated in Greek Orthodox Easter in Crete. It was such a cool experience to watch the community celebrate their religion’s most important event. I hope to post it tomorrow if my blog is working. I just switched to self-hosting so I can apply some of your helpful comments for my redesign. Thanks again for your help!
Looking forward to checking it out. Yeah, I don’t even go to church in the US, so it’s kind of a bizarre thought to do it in a foreign country. But it really is such a big facet of people’s lives in many places that ignoring it would mean missing out on a lot of what makes them who they are.
Very jealous of your tour de france experience! I’m looking forward to seeing what situations this get involved attitude puts you in, great ones I’m sure.
Me too – hopefully most of them turn out well. I tend to imagine myself ruining an Italian countryside wedding ala the Three Stooges.
I did the hang gliding in Rio, it is a sight to see but you don’t have to do that just in Rio. If you’ve never been hang gliding I say try it, at least once.
.-= Cornelius Aesop´s last blog ..Don’t Want No Short Short URL =-.
There are definitely other places to do it. Rio was just the one time that I looked at it and actually wanted to do it, but eventually bailed out and went to the beach instead!
I tend to go outside of my comfort zone a bit more when I travel, but like you, it often isn’t enough
Make friends with the people who aren’t afraid, and I’m sure they’ll be able to talk you into it. Or just tell yourself that you are doing something no matter what… I did that when I shot big guns in Lithuania. When I felt the power of the first blast from my Ak-47 going off in my hands, I was like, “What did I get myself into?!” But, worth it. So, so worth it. (never again, though!)
.-= Brooke vs. the World´s last blog ..Australia & Italia Cultural Overlap Part 1: Never Accept a Gift From an Italian Boy =-.
I love the idea of making new friends who pull me into things I wouldn’t think of doing. I do well when I hang out with instigators.
.-= Joel´s last blog ..Confessions of A Cultural Idiot Pt. 3 – Participate =-.
Some of my most enriching cultural experiences have come about by accident, such as the time I accidentally crashed a christening in Spain. A group of us went into a magnificent church.It was only when we went round the corner that we realised a ceremony was going on, so we did the decent thing and sat quietly till it was over.
.-= Sharon Hurley Hall´s last blog ..All-Inclusives – Yay or Nay? =-.
Love those incidents! I always seem to stumble on protests when I’m in France. Always fascinating to watch. And I actually WATCHED a wedding crasher from afar in Italy – fun times checking out what he was doing and I was the only one who noticed!
.-= Joel´s last blog ..Confessions of A Cultural Idiot Pt. 3 – Participate =-.
I totally agree — sometimes you have to just let go and participate. My most recent experience of this was in Istanbul earlier this month. I wanted to go to a hammam (Turkish bath), but you are supposed to be topless. At first, I didn’t want to do it, and clung to my bra. But then I entered the hot room and saw that all 40 or so women were topless. By NOT participating, I would stand out like a sore thumb. So I sucked it up, ditched the bra, fit in with everyone else, and experienced it the way you are supposed to. It was definitely one of my more interesting travel experiences…
.-= Emily @ Maiden Voyage´s last blog ..Guest Post: Two Days in Paris =-.
I’m very reserved and shy but since deciding to travel my motto has just been to say YES!!
Excellent post! I have a impulse sickness. It’s gets worse as I consume more alcohol. “Oh, you wanna cliff dive into the ocean at 1am, even though I’m a crappy swimmer? SURE. Let’s do it.”
I really like the suggestions about local festivals and social gatherings. Things often overlooked. Everyone wants to see the known tourist sites, but what about the little ones? Significant too, I say!
.-= Nomadic Chick´s last blog ..Gypsy Wednesday – Wandering Carol =-.